i'm married to the sea

fic: i need your little shiny lies

2007-11-21T22:33:31Z

Woah, who knew I had this in me?!? Title taken from Katie Herzig's Fools Gold.

Title: i need your little shiny lies.
Pairing: Nick/Karen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 255
Summary: Because when you're not alone, it's easier to pretend that you're not still pining away for that boy who loved you when you were seventeen.

You know Freddy doesn't really love you. He's just after the fame, and the cash, and whatever else the rest of the world thinks is so fantastic about being a Darling. All of your husbands are like this. They just want the money, and that's okay because you're using them too. For sex, and comfort, and just so you are not alone. Because when you're not alone, it's easier to pretend that you're not still pining away for that boy who loved you when you were seventeen. That's the only thing your marriages are for, to keep the memories of engagements soaked in grappa and cutesy mix tapes suppressed beneath everything. But now, he's the layer and it's harder than ever. Your whole life strategy is falling apart and you don't know how to handle it. So you sleep with the caddy, and Sebastian and anyone else who will take you. Freddy knows and he lets you get away with it. But Nick finds out, and he almost yells at you. He treats you like an adult, the way he always has, and God is it refreshing, and don't you wish-- and then you stop yourself, because you know that you're supposed to be letting go of him. You're supposed to try to make it work with Freddy. You're supposed to let go so it can be just a little easier to fake being happy in this life that you've chosen. And let's be honest, you're a Darling. It should be a piece of cake.

friends cut

2007-01-14T16:49:11Z

I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I've decided to cut a few people who I don't really talk to. Please don't take it personally and just take me off your flist too! Thanks!

meme

2007-01-13T20:44:23Z

I'm in a good mood so what the hey:

Post anything that you want here, and post it anonymously. Post a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love. Tell me how much you love me or how much you hate me. Make sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what others have to say!

Fic: You're Just A Fly On The Wall

2006-09-10T02:33:01Z

Title: Fly on the Wall
Author:under_theground
Rating:PG-13 for language
Pairing:Addison/Izzie
Word Count: 313

Today, you are going to go watch her surgery because that’s the kind supportive girlfriend you are. When you walk into the gallery it’s pretty much clear except for a pair of new female interns who were working on the case.

“ Can you believe she got to screw McDreamy?” The blonde one whispers just loud enough for you to hear. “ I mean, seriously why would anyone divorce that hot piece of ass.”

“ Well he did sleep with Grey. That’s enough to dump any ass.” The other one replies.“ And it’s not like she’s not getting any now.”

“ What?”

“ Nurse Debbie heard some pretty interesting noises from one of the on call rooms yesterday.”

“ Seriously?” The blonde practically screams.

“ And that’s not even the best part, Debbie’s practically 100% sure that the other voice was a woman.”

“ No!”

“ Yes.” The girl had the smuggest look on her face. You really wanted to go all Nazi on her ass, and tell her that she should mind her own fucking business and stop gossiping. But you don’t, cause you want to hear the rest of the conversation; a conversation that you shouldn’t be listening to in the first place.

“ Does she know who it is?” The blonde asks. She’s practically on the edge of her seat in anticipation.

“ No. But there are some good guesses.”

“ Like who?”

“ There’s some pretty serious money on Olivia Harper, she’s already slept with half of the surgical staff anyway.” You hate to admit it, but you’re a little insulted that your name didn’t pop up first.

“ I don’t know. I think the whole redhead thing seems just a little too cliché.”

“ Maybe. But one thing’s for sure, Addison Montgomery is having some pretty amazing sex with someone in this hospital.”

And you couldn’t agree more.

friends only

2006-08-25T01:51:03Z

my name is marisa
call me rissa, or riss, or hey you with the face. i'm not really particular about nicknames.
i watch more television than anyone should. bones, the x-file, pushing daisies, chuck, and the west wing are my main loves.
i just turned sixteen. i promise that that bit of information is code for drama queen.
if you're interested in friending, let's have something and common, and could you be a generally nice person?

Fic: A Pretty Smell

2006-08-04T02:19:32Z

Title: A Pretty Smell To Wake Up To.
Author:under_theground
Pairing: Izzie/Addison
Word Count: 518
Rating: PG
Summary: It's a smell that is so completely Addison.

I wake up and take in a smell that is so completely Addison. It’s this combination of newborns, Chanel No. 5, and some exotic flower. Whatever it is, it’s a pretty smell to wake up to. Then again, Addison’s a pretty girl to wake up to. I thread my fingers through her long red hair, and before long, her eyes begin to flutter open.

“ Morning beautiful.”

“ Hmmm.” Addison groans with the beginnings of a smile on her face. I definitely got the prettiest attending. McDreamy and Burke have nothing on this redhead.

“ Wake up.” I nudge her a bit.

“ Where you watching me sleep again?” She asks, sitting up.

“ Maybe.” I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

“ You know I hate that.”

“ But you’re too gorgeous not to watch.”

“ I’m sure that could be debated.”

“ No it couldn’t” I smile at her, loving this back and forth banter. “ You’re the most gorgeous person ever. It’s the truth.”

“ I’m not. But thanks.” She kisses my lips gently. “ It’s nice to hear.” She pushes the covers off her, and stands up clad in only her panties and a bra.

“ Are you getting dressed?”

“ Yeah. Is that a problem?”

“ No.” I say, sitting up in the bed.

“ What do you think?” Addison says with a fluttery black and white blouse and some khaki slacks.

I take a moment to form my opinion, and smirk,“ I think that those are my pants.”

“ Are they?” Addison unfolds them to get a better look.

“ Yeah.” I say ready to burst into hysterical laughter.

“ Well, whatever.” She seems unfazed. “ I’m still wearing it.” She pulls it over her hips and that single pair of khaki slacks seems to reaffirm whatever it is that we have going here. I wouldn’t exactly call it a relationship, but it’s not just really amazing sex either. It’s some weird place in-between.

“ You think Meredith and George know?” I say, pulling at a spot on the comforter.

“ Know?” She pulls her blouse over her head.

“ Yes, know.” I say motioning between the two of us.

“ Oh that.” She briefly checks herself out in the mirror. “ I think so. Probably.”

“ You think I should tell them?” I ask. “ It’s not like your divorce isn’t final.”

“ You want to tell them?”

“ I don’ t know. I’m just asking.” In truth., I want to tell them. Because that leans whatever we’re doing towards the relationship side, and I like the possibility of that.

“ I guess. I mean, it’s not like we’re hiding it anything.” She says brushing her bright red locks.“ Does this mean I should tell Miranda?”

Considering Dr. Bailey is one of her closet friends in Seattle, why not tell her,“ Yeah. I guess.”

“ Okay.” She says, nodding her head.

“ Okay.” A smile begins to grace my face, because that conversation right there. That conversation means more mornings waking up to the beautiful smell that is Addison.

Fic:The One That Saved Me

2006-07-25T16:00:31Z

Title: The One That Saved Me
Author: under_theground
Word Count: 2,012
Rating: PG
Prompt: Izzie/Addison, road trip

I don’t own Grey’s. Or Wonderwall// Oasis, Iris//Goo Goo Dolls, or She Is//The Fray

Mile 1

Meredith, Finn, and George were all standing on the doorstep, waving goodbye. I don’t think it means as much to Addison as it does to me. Because they’re my family and the fact that they’ve accepted my relationship with Addison, regardless of past experiences, is the best thing ever. I pull out of the driveway and honk twice to my roommates. Addi, who had insisted that we start our drive at 5:30 in the morning, turns to me and says, “ Here we come, California.”

Mile 5

We barely make it past the hospital when Izzie pulls over at the local Starbucks. She looks so freaking adorable in her sweats and pink tee shirt; I can barely breathe. And when she grabs my hand to walk into the coffee junction I think my heart might stop. It doesn’t even matter that we’ve done this a million times before.

“ The usual right?” she asks. I nod and watch as she orders for us. In this moment, I don’t think that anyone feels the way I do about her.

Mile 28

“ RED PUNCH BUGGIE NO PUNCH BACKS!” Addison screams at the top of her lungs the moment I spot the red Volkswagen Beatle.

“ God Damn You!” I curse her for being so good at this game.

She simply smirks, “ Yeah I know. I’m fabulous.” We’d been playing this game for at least 15 minutes and I’ve yet to beat her.

“ How are you so good at this?” I ask, somewhat annoyed with her eagle eye. “ I thought you were a flier.”

“ Beginner’s luck.” She says with a smile that’s just begging to be kissed off her face. I’m almost 90% leaned towards her when she shrieks.

“ GREEN PUNCH BUGGIE NO PUNCH BACKS!”

Mile 53

The silence is killing me, absolutely killing me. And the fact that Izzie’s the loudest gum chewer on the freaking planet is so not helping. I reach down under my seat for the CD case and grab the first CD I see, which happens to be an old mix of Izzie’s. When the song starts, Izzie immediately reaches for the volume dial and begins to sing along.

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out

I cock my head at her and she looks flabbergasted, “ Oh my God! How do you not know this song?”

“ Cause at the time I was being buried under medical charts. The only things I cared about were sleep, work, food, and Derek.” That last word seems unfamiliar.

“ EVERYONE KNOWS THIS SONG!”

“ Stop it! You’re making me feel old.”

“ Addison Forbes Montgomery, you are not old.”

“ Says the 27 year old.”

“ You’re still not old. If you were old, I’d tell you.”

“ Wow. Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.”

“ It should.” Izzie was smiling as she switched the song, and I swear to God, her eyes almost pop out of her head when I begin to sing.

And I’d give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later its over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

When the song was over, Izzie almost burst into hysterical laughter saying, “See you’re not old.”

Mile 79

“ Favorite Movie?”

“ The Breakfast Club.” I say with ease.

“ That’s like everyone’s favorite movie.”

“ Cause it’s an awesome movie. You?”

“ Big Fish. And The Way We Were. And Runaway Bride. The Hours was fantastic, too.” I smile at her indecisiveness, knowing that behind her New York-ish front she’s still that Star Wars-loving geek she was in high school.

“ First Love?”

“ Dan Major, seventh grade.” And she has a geeky smile to match. But that doesn’t matter cause I think that she’s the most adorable geek ever. Then she gets this look in her eyes that I just can’t recognize. In a small voice, she asks, “ What made you fall in love with Denny?”

Even now, nearly three months since Denny’s death, he’s hard to talk about. But when I do, I always talk to Addison. Sometimes I think she’s the only one who understands. “ He made me feel safe, like nothing could ever break me. And he knew me more than I knew myself.” I could just feel the sad smile grace my face. Addi grabs the hand that was lying on the gearshift and gave it a light squeeze.

Determining to lighten the mood, I ask the next question.

“ Weirdest place you’ve had sex?”

Mile 207

The radio was blaring some new rock band’s latest hit on repeat. The Fray I think that’s what Izzie called them. Once again, I was feeling way too old and Izzie insisted that I learn this song by heart. Around the fourth time it played the chorus was permanently stuck in my head.

She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed

Mile 242

It was about 9:45 and Addison was begging for breakfast. In my opinion, fast food breakfasts are the most disgusting thing on the planet. Well that and bowel obstructions. But we needed gas anyway and I could feel my stomach starting to growl.

“ You can go inside and get me whatever. I’ll stay with the car.” I say throwing a twenty at the redhead.

“ You sure you don’t care what I get you?”

“I don’t care.”

“ Fine.” Fifteen minutes and 63 dollars later, Addison is walking towards my Pathfinder with a bag of food and a cup holder in her hands.

“ I got you a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese on a bagel and some really bad coffee.” She says letting out a chuckle.

“ Thanks. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

Mile 543

“ I’m bored.” I declare in the middle of Oregon.

“ Well what do you want me to do about it?”

“ You’re the one who is the long car trip master. You think of something we can do.”

I watch as Izzie searches for something to do. Then, she gave a look that signified her light bulb went off, “ We can play First Letter, Last Letter.”

“ Huh?” I ask, in a confused manor.

“ How have you never played First Letter, Last Letter?”

“ Hello! I grew up in New York. The longest car ride was the two hour drive to The Hamptons.”

“ Whatever. First Letter Last Letter is played when one person picks a category like ‘colors’ or something. Then the other person names a color like orange. And since orange ends in an ‘e’. The next person has to pick a color that starts with an e, like emerald. And no repeats.”

“ Oh okay.” It sounds easy enough to me. “ Can I start?”

“ Yeah pick a category.”

I was trying to find the broadest category I knew, “ Food.”

“ That’s an easy one.”

“ Yeah, I know.” Then I began to rack my brain for foods. “ Cereal.”

“ Lime.”

“ Eggplant.”

“Tomato.”

“Ostrich Eggs. ”

“ Sandwich.”

“ Ham.”

“ Mushroom soup.”

“ Pizza.” This game was beginning to make me hungry.

“ Apple.”

“ Egg.”

“ Garden Salad.”

“ D. Umm,” I pause for a moment. “ Dill pickle.”

“ What is with all the e’s?” Izzie asks me. “ Easter Brunch.”

“ Okay that is so not a food; it’s a meal. Try again.”

“ Egg Bagel.”

“ Lamb.” Now I’m really hungry.

“ B.L.T.”

“ Tenderloin.”

“ Niciose Olives.”

Hotel Room 754

I plop down on the mattress of our hotel room. I tried to convince Addison into the nearest motel, but god forbid she stay that shack of a place. That’s Addison for you.

She’s shuffling the deck of cards we brought, and I ask, “ Spit? I mean, you do know how to play Spit right?”

“ Ha ha! You’re so hysterical.” She deadpans.

“ It’s a god given talent.” I say with a smile as she splits the deck.

“ Ready?” She asks once we’ve both set up our cards. She’s got the most intense look in her eye.

“ Ready.” I confirm.

“ One. Two. Three.” Our hands are on their respective deck as we prepare to flip the top card. “ SPIT!”

Both of us are working at lightning speed to arrange our cards in numerical order. It was coming down to the wire as Addison only had two cards left. We both reach for the smaller pile.

“ WOOT!” Addison screams in honor of her victory.

“ What is it with you and beating me at everything?”

“ God given talent.”

Mile 815

Part of the agreement was that if Izzie drove the first day, I had to drive the second. This had its advantages and disadvantages; I drove less, but Izzie kept playing random bands I’d never heard of. I mean, who seriously names their band Panic! At The Disco?

“ Pick a color.” Izzie says to me with her feet on the dashboard and one of those cootie catcher things in her hand.

“ Where’d you get that?”

“ I made it.” She says like it’s nothing. “ Pick a color.”

“ You memorized how to make those things?”

“ Yes. Pick a color.” My god is she persistent. I turn to face her and see that she’s chosen the most exotic colors ever. That’s Izzie for you. “ Bubblegum.”

“ B-U-B-B-L-E-G-U-M,” She spells aloud. “ 1, 2, 5, or 6.”

“2.”

“ 1-2.” While she’s counting I see a yellow Volkswagen pass us by. “ 1, 2, 5, or 6?”

Whoa. Déjà vu. “2.”

Izzie’s smile grew tenfold. “ I...uh. You have to read this yourself.”

“ Iz, I’m driving.”

“ Trust me, you want to read this.”

I peer over her and see in Izzie’s perfect penmanship, ‘ Izzie Loves Addi.’

Mile 911

Wow Addison was right, riding passenger was boring as shit. I think it’s about time we revive the game of ‘Truth’ we were playing yesterday.

“ Truth. How come you and Derek didn’t have kids?” In the one and a half months I’d been dating Addison, I’d never seen the look she has now. I begin to regret my question. “ Wait, no. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

She shakes her head and starts to answer my question, “ We did.” I watch her swallow the lump in her throat. “ Layla Avery Shepherd. She was three months premature and only survived for 11 hours.”

“ Addison, I’m so sorry.” I say. I don’t think those words were ever as true as they are now.

“ Yeah. Me too.”

Mile 1058

After our truth episode, Izzie went back to being her crafty self and started knitting. The clacking and clicking of her needles echoes through the car, and it’s driving me crazy.

“ You ever play the license plate game?” My voice seems to break the sound barrier.

The clacking stops, “What version?”

“ The one wear you have a license plate, I’ll use this one as an example. It’s BRS 450. So you have to come up with a phrase that would make up the letters ‘BRS’ like, ‘Be Really Serious’ or something.”

“ I actually haven’t played it that way. Where’d you come up with that?”

“ I may have googled ‘game to play on road trips’ on my laptop last night, while you were sleeping.”

The smile on her face is so adorable, “ Aww.”

I start turning pink. “ Well, let’s play.”

“ I’m starting.” Izzie looks among the plethora of cars on the road. “ TNM 953, Talk No More.”

I look for something interesting, “ HAC 324, Have Another Cosmo.”

“ HNE 980, Hear No Evil.”

I smile as I spot the perfect license plate, “ ALI 159. Addi Loves Izzie.”

Mile 1136

“ Wonderwall” by Oasis starts playing just as we hit the streets of Santa Monica, our destination. I smile as Addison blasts the song and starts singing at the top of her lungs. After I overcome the initial shock, I join in.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don’t know how

Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You’re my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they’ll never throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you’re not to do
I don’t believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don’t know how

I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You’re my wonderwall

I take one look at Addi and come to a realization of my own. There is no maybe; there is no gonna. Dr. Addison Montgomery is the one that saved me.